Why Me
by Nami7623
Summary: I was wondering when my life got so out of control. Thinking that maybe my thoughts were the only thing keeping me sane. Yet, there was this one thought that was pushing in the back of my mind. It was the thought driving me insane: Why me? YxV


I know I shouldn't be doing this, I really do. Key word here would be "should". Yet, lately I've notice that I never do what I should. Plus this has been bugging me for a while now. It would be horribly wrong to let it sit and suffer in my brain all alone, wouldn't it? Therefore, standing by that reasoning, I wrote it all down.

This story takes place a few years after DOC, characters may be a little OOC.

Disclaimer: Of course, I don't happen to own Final Fantasy. Not the games, movies, characters, settings, plots, or anything else I failed to mention. All of those go to their respected owners, which as I've stated isn't me.

* * *

**Why Me**

Why? That's all I could think of as he stared at me. He was waiting for the words that would justify what my face said clearly. I think part of him knows that I won't speak, that I won't fulfill his plans. When have I done anything to fulfill other people's plans? Never, that's when. If you would ask anyone, what they thought Yuffie Kisaragi was doing at the moment? None of them would tell you that she was about to have a break down in front of Vincent Valentine. If by some miracle they had, then they would have to been able to see the future. Why was that? Because that's the only-

"Yuffie?" His voice brought me back to reality. The worst part was that I really wanted to stay lost to the world with my ongoing thoughts. I wanted to distract myself by any means necessary.

"Yuffie." It wasn't a question this time. He knew I could hear him perfectly fine. Still, I was lost of words. My mind wasn't working clearly and I couldn't think as flawlessly as always. Or maybe I just didn't want to. Maybe my mine was trying to protect me somehow. Trying to tell me because my thoughts were so fogged and unclear not to think of what Vincent wants me to think about. Maybe the thought itself would be my downfall. No, this wasn't a maybe. I knew that the thought that rested on the outskirts of my mind will be my downfall in the near future. That future was starting now, at the very spot I stood.

"Forgive me..." I tilted my head to the side looking at him with more focus than before.

What did he do? This was entirely my fault, not his. He kept on trying to get me to respond to him, and I for once in my life didn't want to talk. I ignored him completely.

"Yuffie." Once more his voice stopped me. This time because he sounded angry. I pressed my lips together in a tight line, trying to keep myself from letting him get to me. When he noticed this he glared at me. His glare would send most people running off fearing for their lives but I was use to them by now. How many times had I made a wrong move earning his glare? More times than I could probably remember. Somehow, this glare was different than the others. Looking at it more clearly, I remembered where I had seen it before. This glare he had given once before and that person had not lasted very long. Not even one minute before Vincent ended his existence.

Fear flew through me at once.

I had done it this time.

I closed my eyes, placing my hands over my face as I shook my head, my shoulders were trembling uncontrollably. Would he kill me too? Maybe he would? Just like he killed him? He said he would do it before but I thought he was joking at the time. Then again, he rarely jokes around. Was he not joking with me? Why had I become so afraid of him? Why am I thinking so much?

I suddenly felt two strong arms wrap themselves around me, pulling me into a rock hard chest without any hesitation.

"Forgive me." He repeated, his warm breath gracing my ear.

Moving my hands from my face I placed them on his chest. Why is it that the moment he pulled me close I felt completely safe? Well, I guess that is something I knew for a long time anyway. Vincent always had a way of making me feel safe.

My shoulders stopped trembling. I tried to speak, tried to take the blame away from him.

"I –But- It's my fault, not yours." I choked out.

"No, it's my fault. " he told me clearly.

"I didn't want to make you upset." I held on to him tighter because that's all I could think to do at the moment.

"It seems that I was the one that made you upset." Vincent said regretfully.

Are conversations are always straight forward. Vincent hates long conversations, while I on the other hand love to have long meaningful conversations. Even in my head I could tell that we would never workout, it just wasn't logical. Besides, Vincent would always stop listening to me after ten minutes of me ranting. My voice bugs him. No take that back- all voices bug him.

"Why him?" I asked forcing myself to get back on topic.

"We all will die one day. It was his time, Yuffie." Vincent tried to make me understand but I just couldn't get my mind around this.

"The doctor said he was fine. Why would he die if he was fine?"

"Doctors have no sense in death; they say what machines tell them to say." I didn't know what to say anymore. I felt so numb, I wanted my father back. I wouldn't and couldn't let him go. He was the only parent I had left, and now he was gone. I was parentless, and I had never in all my life felt so alone.

My father was one of the only people on this planet that would have stood by me no matter what. He would have done anything for me. He was even brave enough to try to kill Vincent when he found out that I was moving in with him. Not even Cid had been that bold when he found out. Yet, in Vincent defense, he only let me stay because I begged him for days. Seriously I was so sick of Cloud and Tifa being all lovey dovey, I had to get out of there. It doesn't matter anyway. Vincent only ever saw me as a friend, much to my dismay.

"Yuffie?" Vincent asked for the hundredth time tonight.

Thoughts suddenly flew into my mind like wildfire. The thoughts of everything Godo had ever said, done, or had the intention of doing. Maybe that's why people tell you not to think too hard. It's the thought of that thought that breaks you down into nothing but a memory. As if the enemy wasn't your body, it was your own mind that was turning your world upside down. The thoughts are the enemy, the evil ones. Although, I could just be losing my mind. That would make just as much sense as any of this.

"Are thoughts bad?" The question was out of my mouth before I could think about what I was asking.

I could feel Vincent chuckle, "That depends on what you are thinking."

"I'm thinking about everything." I sighed.

"Can your mind even handle that?" he asked playfully.

He obviously was trying to distract me, so I decided to play along for a little while. Maybe this is what I needed right now, maybe this would all work out somehow. Just one last small distraction.

I couldn't help but feel bitter.

"Well, yours over came your silent period. I'm sure mine can handle some thinking, Mr. Broody." Once again he chuckled, this time at the old nickname. I, on the other hand, didn't find it funny. I can never win the little fights with him unless I cry. It's so not fair, my question wasn't even answered. Well, it was but not in the way I wanted it to be.

"You look upset," He informed me.

"Really?" I asked dryly.

"No, not in a way most grieving people would be." Vincent added.

I paused, thinking about everything that I had been through this past week. Thoughts and options flew into my mind.

For one thing Godo was gone. Even though I wanted him to come back, I knew he wasn't going to. I felt my heart squeeze in pain, the same pain I felt when I lost my mother. Yet, this time it was much worse, so much worse. I was going to kill that doctor for lying to me. For giving me false hope, hope that shattered my heart even more in the end. I didn't know what I needed from what I wanted anymore. I was so confused. I just want my brain to stop working, the thoughts to stop coming, and the pain to go away.

"Vincent, I don't want to feel this way anymore." I sobbed into his chest.

Holding me closer, I felt Vincent nod. Looking up at him I saw that he was really focused on something going on inside his head as well. He looked at me and I guess something clicked because his breath caught in his throat. Vincent's face twisted in disgust as he roughly pulled me away from him. I gasped at his unexpected change in attitude while I tried to back away from him. He wasn't having any of that though- his hands immediately went to my shoulders, his fingers digging into my skin.

"Why did you come here tonight?" he all but growled at me.

"What are you talking about?" I tried my best get myself out of his grasp, but it wasn't working the slightest bit. I couldn't even believe what was happening. Vincent couldn't have figured it out.

"Answer me!" he screamed at me, shaking me violently.

"Let me go! Are you insane?" I yelled back at him. Oh Leviathan, he knew.

He knew, and he was never going to let me do it. Maybe I could get him to understand; maybe he would see my side and agree with me. Maybe, just maybe, he would see that I had to do this.

"Yuffie, I asked you a question and you _will_ answer it." He had stopped shaking me, and I wished he hadn't. There was so much hatred in his eyes, so much hostility in his voice, and so much bitterness in his grasp. I just could handle it. This person that I loved more than anything else on the planet hated me so much. I came to the understanding that he would never love me long time ago- but for him to hate me, it completely destroyed whatever was left of my heart.

"I-I was planning on k-killing m-myself." I stuttered out, tears following freely down my face at this point. He didn't look surprised at my words and I knew I had just confirmed his thoughts.

"If I didn't follow you tonight, you would have selfishly taken your own life without even thinking of what pain it would have caused to others." Vincent scowled at me, letting go of my shoulders. Without him to hold me up I crumbled into a pathetic heap on cold beach sand. He just didn't understand- everyone would get past it. No one needed me, they all had some else to keep them pushing through this horrible world. I was the only one that didn't have anyone. I was the only one who just couldn't do this anymore. It is selfish and easy sure, but for once I don't want to fight. I want to give up and run away. I want the easy way out and he is just making it harder for me to do.

"Y-you don't understand I-I-"

"Don't I? I had lost everyone that had matter to me." His face softened as he kneeled next to me, "Yuffie, you haven't lost everyone. Your friends are still here- I'm still here."

"Vincent-"

"I don't care what you have to say Yuffie. You will never prove to me that this way is better. I will never let you do this." Vincent sounded so sure of himself. How was I going to do this? Would he ever let me be alone again? He had to let me, he just had to. I had to prove it to him. I had to.

"If you don't let me Vincent, I'll just-" I had no idea what I was going to do, but I couldn't let him win this. This was my life on the line, and I had to end it completely. No more pain, no more suffering.

"There is nothing you can do about it Yuffie." He didn't know though, he didn't understand. No matter what he said, I still had to do this. He wouldn't be there for me forever. He doesn't care about me enough to be there forever. The sad part about it is that he is right. There is nothing I can do to make him care, nothing I can do to get him to love me. If only it was as easy as wishing for it- I would have had his heart years ago.

"I have to, I just have to!" I couldn't see this battle ending in my favor. My argument was flawed because the reasoning behind it wasn't logical.

"'You have to?' Just who is forcing you into this?" It's like he cares, but I know better. Vincent is a wonderful liar when he needs to be. He doesn't want my life to be on the list of things he didn't try hard enough to save.

It's useless, I can't be saved.

He shouldn't care, because he could never care the way needed him too.

"Why do you even care? You never cared about anything I did before!" I moved further away from him, unable to look him in the eye- unable to tell him the truth. I was never strong enough to tell him the truth and I never would be strong enough to tell him. Never.

"You're wrong." I can't be wrong. You haven't done anything to prove me wrong in four years. But I can't tell you that. You'd blame yourself for this, and I love you too much to ever hurt you like that. You don't understand.

"No I'm not. You don't need me." I told him, not daring to look up into his eyes.

"Even if that were true it wouldn't mean I didn't care for you." He was coming closer to me. I wanted to scream, wanted him to go away, and I wanted him to hold me. My mind was on overdrive.

"You don't have to lie about it Vince, I just know you don't." He had to hear the desperation in my voice, he had to know I was about to fall apart. My heart was ripping, but I knew better than to listen to it. It's what got me here in the first place.

"If I didn't care you wouldn't be living in my home. Have you thought of that?" He held my hand, and I snapped. He always does this. Always makes me think he cares. But I know better now. I know he doesn't care!

"That doesn't prove anything. You just did that out of pity." I growled at him yanking my hand out of his grasp. I looked up at his face and immediately I know I shouldn't have. My anger completely faded away- he looks just as calm as ever. I let my hand fall limply into the sand. Never before had I felt so numb. He doesn't, he can't, and he won't care. Not for me.

"Than what would prove that I don't care?" Nothing, there isn't any proof that you don't care.

_He doesn't. He can't. He won't._

"I don't need stupid proof, I can tell." I said weakly. I couldn't even recognize my own voice. I could feel the bile in my throat burn, just as the tears were getting ready to fall again.

"I would have left Yuffie." You always left, Vincent. You always left me alone in that stupid house. You always left me in that place that reminded you of her. You never gave me a prayer of a chance.

_He doesn't. He can't. He won't._

"I would have left you here. I wouldn't even be speaking to you now." What if you're not? What if this is all in my mind? What if I wake up and this is all just a horrible dream? What if I wake up and we're still off fighting Sephiroth?

_He doesn't. He can't. He won't._

"That's not…Just leave!" I screamed at him, turning around to face the water so my back was to him. He needs to go away, needs to leave me alone. I don't know if I can take much more of this. He just needs to let me go. It's not that hard.

_He doesn't. He can't. He won't._

"Yuffie. " Don't say my name like that. Don't sound like you care, don't pretend for me, don't lie to me. It only hurts more when you lie. This game of cat and mouse is killing me. I don't want to chase you around the world anymore. I want the game to be over. Please, leave me alone. I want to lose this time.

_He doesn't. He can't. He won't._

"Shut up! Leave me alone! I don't care anymore! Go away!" I yelled as loud as I could at him, as if that would make get how much I didn't want him here. Maybe by some miracle this planet would give me a break for once in my pathetic life. But I know better than to set my hopes up high. Everything eventually will come crashing down. Nothing lasts forever.

_He doesn't. He can't. He won't._

The tears were falling, I couldn't hold anything back anymore. Why? I don't understand why life is so hard. I want to make everything disappear- the pain and the loneliness. I want it all to be gone, all of it. Never before had I felt so numb, so empty. I couldn't even see the waves that were crashing onto the shore anymore. My hands were shaking, and I found myself wishing that I had told him- that I told Vincent just how much he meant to me. But it doesn't matter.

The silly dreams of him accepting my feelings were just that: dreams. Maybe if I was still sixteen I would be able to tell him. Yet, back then I had no idea what I was feeling. I thought it was a stupid crush that would die out. It makes me sick to think about how wrong I was. How that even now I want nothing more than for him to want me.

_He doesn't. He can't. He won't._

Then I heard it. His footsteps. He was leaving me. And whatever was left of my nonexistent heart completely shattered. The pain was so intense that for a moment I thought that maybe I died. My throat completely closed and I gasped out trying to force some oxygen into my lungs.

He left.

He left me.

I realized that somewhere deep inside of me I had hoped he wouldn't, but he did.

He left.

Vincent left.

"I love you." I whispered to the wind. I'm not sure why I said it. It just slipped out after all of these years of holding it in. It's not like he could have heard me anyway since he left. I never in all my life imagined that it would be anywhere near this painful to let it out. But it didn't matter because I would be dead soon. Then I would never have to feel any pain. I would free myself from this horrible place tonight.

"What?" I froze.

Vincent?

There was no way-I heard him leave. He sounded so close though. My body moved against my will as it turned to look behind me.

He _was_ here.

He was standing there, a good few yards away. The wind was softly blowing against his torn cape, his face expressionless. Then it hit me, he didn't leave. He just backed away to give me space and now- Oh Leviathan, now he knows.

And why in the world is he coming toward me?

He was so close now and I officially panicked. I move to get up and run but slipped on my way up. My ankle twisted in pain and I swear I heard a snap. Afraid to move and risk hurting myself more I slowly twisted myself up into a sitting position. Vincent was right next to me now, looking down at me. I wish I could read the expression on his face but I found it hard to comprehend.

Vincent never looked at me like this before.

"What did you say?" Vincent's voice was low, almost like he was talking to himself.

Lie. I had to lie.

"I love you." Again it just came out of my mouth without warning. I really need to work out this mental filter thing and fast.

My eyes widened along with Vincent's, the horror at what I just told him finally sinking in. After all these years of keeping this a secret from everyone, even Tifa, he knew. He would hate me forever. I had no doubt about it, Vincent would now probably tell me I was better off dead if I loved someone like him. He would never love me back. He wouldn't even want me to live because I was the stupidest person in the world. I had no right to tell someone like him I loved him. I had no right to feel that way about him. But I did.

I love Vincent Valentine.

There is nothing anyone, not even me, can do about it.

"Yuffie do you-" I couldn't let him finish, I couldn't let my last memory of him be the end of our friendship. I just couldn't.

"No! I take it back, please. Please, Vincent, don't hate me!" I screamed in panic.

He moved down to sit next to me.

I calmed down.

He came closer.

I stopped breathing.

"I could never hate you, Yuffie." His lips came down over mine with such force that I completely forgot what was happening. All I could think about was the way his lips felt against mine.

It was absolutely breath takingly perfect.

It was an absolutely breath taking perfect lie.

I had to stop this.

I placed my hands on Vincent's chest.

I had to stop this now.

My heart screamed at me to stop doing what I was about to do, but my mind was also screaming at me to continue.

I pushed Vincent away with all the power I had left in me. Pitifully, I dragged myself away from him while ignoring the sharp pain in my ankle. I took in a long ragged breath, willing the oxygen into my lungs. I just needed to get away from him. Then everything would be clear again. If only I hadn't hurt my no good rotten ankle I could get away from him. Leviathan, I needed to get away from here.

"Where are you going?" Vincent's arm grabbed my good ankle and dragged me back to him so fast that I didn't even have time process what was happening.

He touched my face gently.

I screamed.

"Yuff-"

"Get away from me!" I slapped everywhere I could, trying desperately to get away.

His hands found my wrists and willed them to stay still. "What are you doing?"

"Don't!" His eyes widened in shock, but his hands didn't leave my wrists. "Stop pretending like you care and let go of me right now!"

He didn't move and I just kept screaming.

"You heartless monster! Stop playing around with me, I'm done playing these messed up games with you!" I was beyond reason, my grip on my sanity was slipping and I could do nothing about it.

"Foolish girl." His voice whispered in my ear and I froze again.

I wanted nothing more than to disappear.

Vincent pushed me into the sand; hovering over me as he continued breathing into my ear. "You're such a foolish girl." His lips once again found mine. This time I gasped and he used the moment to push his tongue into my mouth. I moaned at the feeling, my body and heart completely betraying me. His hands still firmly held my own down. I couldn't get away from this beautiful torture.

My heart stopped as I realized I didn't want to get away anymore. My sob was choked down by his mouth; I couldn't believe I was doing this to myself. I couldn't believe I was kissing him back. What the heck is wrong with me? Why was I pretending? Why?

We stopped to breathe. Both of us were breathing in heavily, trying to clear our heads. He let go of my hands to wipe away at the tears flowing down my face. I wanted to cry even harder. Why was he so good at faking this? Why did he break me so easily? I was so ready to die before this. Why is it that he just broke through all of my defenses like that? As if they weren't even there, as if I didn't work four years to make them flawless.

"You still don't understand do you?" he asked me, his warm breathe hitting my face.

I didn't understand. I had no idea what was happening anymore.

"Yuffie, I care for you just as much as you care for me." he explained softly.

"No you don't, you can't." My voice was weak. I was tried and confused.

He kissed my forehead, "Keep telling yourself that, love."

Where the hell was this coming from? Did he finally go bat shit crazy?

"Vincent, please stop." I begged.

"I've waited too long to stop now," Our foreheads met, my heart raced. "Yuffie, the second you told me that you loved me you were mine."

"I don't understand." He was too close to me, I couldn't even think.

"Of course you don't." he told me. "I waited two years for you to tell me, for you to finally give in. Like hell I'm going to leave you now."

"B-But how-"

"It doesn't really matter does it?"

My heart was beating so loud I was a hundred percent sure he could hear it. This had to be a dream, a wonderful crazy dream. Leviathan, could this really be happening right now?

"Say it." I commanded him. I wouldn't believe it unless I heard it. He would never lie about it flat out- he wasn't that cruel.

He knew exactly what I was talking about and he didn't miss a beat. "I love you, Yuffie."

I can't even explain the feeling.

It felt so surreal.

So perfect.

So amazing.

So _right_.

I wrapped my arms around Vincent's neck. He immediately moved us so he was on his back and I was laying next to him. I took in a deep breath, trying to save this moment in my memory forever. Trying to just stay in that second with him forever. Forgetting about everything else besides him and me. Just him and me.

"You're not allowed to leave." I sobbed into his chest, gripping his shirt tightly as if he would disappear from my sight.

"Wouldn't dream of it." His arms wrapped around my waist possessively. "You're mine."

Ironically, I could have just about died from happiness.

"I'm yours." I whispered softly.

He breathed into my ear, "Say it."

"I love you, Vincent." I told him smiling as he held me tighter.

It was simple- the thought of happiness.

"You know, Vince, I never took you for a romantic." I smirked into his chest and I could feel his chuckle vibrate through my lips.

"Don't push it, Yuffie."

"Wouldn't dream of it." I mocked.

It was really simple- the thought of happiness.

Just one less thought to worry about.

* * *

I know, I know, I completely gave in to temptation and made a happy ending. But really can you blame me? Besides, there is way too much sad Yuffietine fan-fiction out there. Not that I mind since it feeds my obsession. However, what could one happier ending do to us anyway? It's not like I made Vincent wear pink or anything that drastic. Anywho, I think I like how this turned out. Tell me what you think! I would love to know if you guys liked, loved, or hated it!

Till next time,  
Nami =]


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